+i gonna rock my world out of it+

just feeling depressed all of the sudden...

i dunno why...

the aniversary is long gone...

and the aniversary tomorrow is nothing...

as it was really relaxing...

and my sister just nudge me to tell her my cousin's secret...

and i really got frustrated...

haix...

and i dunno that during these 3 days...

what am i doing...

because i promise myself that if i didn't study at august it's ok...

and i gonna go really focus at september...

but from tuesday till now...

i feel that i haven't done anything...

just homework...

and projects...

haix...

and there's something else that bothers me...

just that i dunno how to face it...

everyday this matter keep repeating and repeating in my mind...

and i dunno what to do...

i just felt so lost suddenly...

i just feel that myself was so easy to change...

i got really happy and high and insane in school...

and the moment i reach home...

it was like................................

i dunno...

the end term exam is coming...

and i don't wanna drop to d class...

because i have work so hard to get to c class...

and i don't want to drop back again...

i am not smart...

but i keep telling myself that if i work hard...

everything will come in places...

but...

i dunno is that i study not enough or what...

i can't improve my worst subject...

and this has always been a problem to me...

because someone will keep remind me that i flunk it...

and i don't wanna remember...

and there are sooo many problems in my life...

and i don't dare to face it...

coward huh...

i really dunno...

i just wanna have a great and interesting life in high school...

and have fun like the others...

but can that possibly happen?

i mean that i just really...................

dunno how to say...

everyday i have to rush here and there...

and there's 2 people in my class that many people dislike...

and i used to be great friends with 1 of them when i was in f2...

she change a lot really...

and i just keep faking as their friends all this year...

not very close...

but not bad d type...

and i just can't take it anymore...

so irritating...

and i gonna quit my pose in budaya jepun next year...

i mean....

they really think that they are the head of the society and they can do anything?

up until wednesday they just confirm the amount of money...

and tell me to collect all by friday...

you think you can do that?

everyday they say that they forgot...

and i need to find my free time to rush to other classes...

and you guys sitting there chatting along...

and the system in there is just not systematic...

in my opinion...

haix...

just forget it...

i am totally speechless...

but still i am going to solve those matters...

and move along with it...